


No Daughter of Mine...

by chibi_nightowl



Category: Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: According to Bruce, Difficult children, Gen, Inappropriate Costumes, Parenthood, fem!Dick, implied JayDick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 09:30:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12429936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chibi_nightowl/pseuds/chibi_nightowl
Summary: Bruce swears his children are going to be the death of him one day. After all the things he’s survived over the years, it’s inevitable at this point.





	No Daughter of Mine...

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this [Tumblr post](https://flaffizz.tumblr.com/post/164853979361/someone-wanted-to-see-femdick-d-it-was-fun-to) that charcoal-soul brought to my attention. You're evil, my dear. I hope you know that. But I love you anyway.

Bruce swears his children are going to be the death of him one day. After all the things he’s survived over the years, it’s inevitable at this point. They all know how to push his buttons and get under his skin in their own special ways, but there are certain things about him that only his eldest would take it upon herself to share with her siblings as their family grew. 

She’s the biggest instigator of them all. Jason likes to think he is (no one other than Tim ever finds his dark humor funny), but, hands down, the winner is Rachel Joanna Grayson. 

From her _call me Dick_ phase (the name somehow stuck within the household and the superhero community) to her ability to somehow bend gravity to her will (Bruce has tested her for the meta-gene many times over the years; it would explain _so much_ ), he swears most of his gray hairs have come from her. 

He never thought he’d have a daughter. He didn’t know what to do with one, but when he saw her parents fall to their deaths, he knew he couldn’t leave her to face the world alone. Thank god for Selina, otherwise, who knows what would have happened. Bruce (and Alfred to a certain extent) were woefully unprepared to handle a girl. 

For a while, it had been easy to disguise Rachel as a boy when she was out as Robin. But when she entered puberty, certain physical features could not be disguised anymore. Selina took her under her wing, explaining what was going on with her body and, in Bruce’s opinion, gave her a far more in-depth sex talk than any thirteen year old needed. 

Neither of them have ever admitted it, but he swears the lessons continued over the years as there are just some things Rachel would never have learned on her own, even with all the time she spent with the Teen Titans. 

Yes, Bruce decides as he stares in abject horror at the new Nightwing costume his daughter is wearing, he’s going to blame Selina for this. She corrupted his lovely, innocent daughter. The one who brings the greatest amount of joy to his life. 

“No,” he growls. “You are _not_ wearing that.” 

“Oh come on, Bruce,” Rachel says, doing a little twirl to show off the backside again. “I’m completely covered up.” 

He is not going to fall for this and keeps his eyes well above her waist. “No. You’re not.” 

They’re interrupted by the sounds of a motorcycle roaring into the Cave. Bruce welcomes the distraction. Perhaps one of Rachel’s brothers can talk some sense into her. She’s got them all twisted around her fingers, but even they can see the sense in not letting her out in _that_. 

Jason and Tim soon come up the stairs from the part of the cave they’ve all dubbed the garage. Bruce only heard one motorcycle, so they must have been riding together. 

“Is everything alright?” he asks. They don’t look any more bruised or banged up than usual. 

Tim airily waves a hand and pushes back his cowl. “I’m fine.” 

His brother snorts as he takes off his helmet. He’s not wearing a mask tonight. “His bike ain’t.” 

Bruce senses a story here, but Rachel interrupts them. “Hey little brothers! What do you think of my new costume?” She does another little twirl. 

Tim’s eyes widen comedically. “What are you _wearing?_ ”

Good. Nice to see one of them is on his side. 

Jason, however… 

His long strides eat up the distance between him and Rachel. There’s something in his eyes Bruce does not want to see (something he’s been seeing for a long time if he’s honest with himself, which he’s not, not with this). “Let me see that again, Dickiebird.” 

Rachel twirls again, ending with her arms wrapped around Jason in a mock embrace. Both stare impudently at Bruce as Jason’s gloved hand drops to her bare bottom and squeezes. 

His blood pressure immediately skyrockets. 

“Huh,” Jason says, managing to look confused and amused at the same time. “That’s not skin.” 

“Of course not!” Rachel says brightly. “It only looks like it!” 

Bruce doesn’t care if it’s a flesh colored body suit or not. “Still no!” he shouts. “No daughter of mine is going out _there_ with her ass hanging out!” 

Snickers meet his proclamation. Including Tim. Traitor. 

“Bruce, you _do_ remember the original Nightwing costume, right?” he points out. “I’d say this is an improvement.” 

No one could ever forget the first Nightwing costume. Bruce still has nightmares about it. He’d learned more about sticky boob tape than he ever thought possible. 

Jason squeezes Rachel’s bottom again and catches her eye. “I know _I_ remember that costume.” 

Bruce decidedly ignores the leer in his second child’s voice. 

Rachel giggles and kisses Jason on the cheek. “I know you do, honey.” She steps out of his embrace and approaches Bruce. “I don’t see why you’re so upset. I’m more covered than Dinah or Diana are.” 

That is a fair point, but he’ll be damned if he admits it. Black Canary and Wonder Woman were not his eldest daughter. “No.” 

His daughter pouts. “Do I need to play the _you’re not the boss of me_ card? That never ends well for you.” Her eyes harden. 

No, it never has. It usually ends up with Rachel storming out of the cave and not coming back for weeks on end. Cassandra never does this to him. How did he end up with _two_ daughters who were such polar opposites of each other? 

He tries a different tactic. “Aren’t you supposed to be getting ready for a party?” 

She laughs, low and yet still so rich and full of promise. It’s her Nightwing laugh, one that’s distracted men and women for _years_ before she delivers the pain. Just like Selina, she knows how to wield her femininity as a very effective weapon. 

Not for the first time, Bruce wishes he’d asked for Diana for help with his daughter all those years ago. It’s come back to bite him in the ass more than once. 

“You win for now, Bruce.” A gloved hand reaches out, pulling his head down so Rachel can kiss his cheek too. “You’ll love my new dress. It covers so much less than this does.” 

As she walks towards the locker room to change before heading upstairs, she beckons imperiously to Jason. “Care to be my arm candy for the night, little wing?” 

“Any time, princess.” He tosses a wicked smirk at Bruce as he follows. 

He’s never been so glad in all his life that he installed a private room for the girls to change in. Assuming Rachel remembers to close the door. She’s never been modest (but neither is Cass for that matter). 

Tim laughs quietly and rolls his head, his neck popping audibly as he does. “It’s never boring around here.” 

“I should have put her in a convent the moment she turned thirteen,” Bruce growls, turning back to his computer. He ignores the louder laugh from his second son. 

One day, if Tim ever has a daughter, he’ll understand.

 


End file.
